Disconnect From Things That Hurt You

Day 7

We learn early in life that what we face isn’t always fair. As children, do we know full well the difference between right and wrong? Some parents will say “no” and enforce their negative response with a spanking. Other parents will use different types of behavior modification, too. 

If you asked children who grew up in less-than-stellar environments, then they might say that their caregivers didn’t care. Those children learned that their parents or guardians were too busy dealing with their own lives that they didn’t have time to focus on boundaries, protection, and safety for the kids.

Yes, there are some parents who learned from their parents who grew up during the Depression in the United States. They really learned about surviving through scarcity. They never had time to get in touch with their “feelings or attitudes” because their goals were formed by their parents. Work in the fields. Go and do something constructive to bring in money. 

But what do millions of people know how to do best? Disconnect. 

Now, this is different from taking a week off and going to the lake or outdoors. Everybody does need a break sometimes. That’s why it is called vacation. A natural flow takes place, where people do not have to be on call all the time. It is a break. After a period of time, they reenter the stream of life and keep on truckin’.

Not all of us know how to shut down the “stay busy” mode for a bit. We have to be busy. We have to do something, go somewhere, achieve some goal. Staying busy, just for busy’s sake, is yet another way to disconnect. Why do people do this? I believe it is because they really don’t want to look at what’s going on around their emotional state.

Diving right into the core of your emotional state is truly going to be a head trip. 

Many years ago, I remember when I started going to therapy on a regular basis. One of the things I learned to do was figure out what were my feelings and which ones were from other people. I’d gotten my wires so tied up with family members that their feelings and emotions became mine. Along life’s path, I’d lost “me.”

I know you are thinking how selfish it is to think about yourself. If you go through life and do not take care of Y-O-U, then how will you respond at the low ebb of your own journey? A defining point better be established or, friend, you will be walking a lonesome road with no one to help. 

The Power Of Obsession, Addiction, and Character Traits

I know that we have to leave things that hurt us alone. What are those things that hurt you? Is it an obsession? An addiction? A character trait? We all have these within our hearts and souls. These objects or actions can become addicting because they provide “the great escape” for us. We can run away from uncomfortable moments and situations. We learn to run and never look back...until that doesn’t work anymore.

Have we all learned that it’s better to just stick it out when there’s a horrible situation taking place? That’s not always cool. At the same time, we have to see what things hurt us and what does not hurt us. Love is a powerful emotion. Mental health issues arise even in the sanest of individuals. We write out lists of what hurts us. We ask others to provide examples or resources to guide our trip into a healthier mind.

Only you know what things hurt you. We all have our lists.

Mental health mandates that everyone has a beautiful mind. That is a healthy area filled with active, vibrant energy, thoughts, and emotions. The mind is a powerful force, moving people to do the most erratic things. It’s also a place that leads us to inspiration, creativity, and full life expression.

What happens when we disconnect from hurtful things? We’re protected and not going to be hurt by them anymore. You and I believe we know what hurts us. Yet do we really know all the time? Are we fully aware of how our central nervous system, our minds, and our hearts are affected physiologically? Maybe not. Hell, if you and I don’t spend time separating our feelings from others, then we’re going to be like that dog chasing his tail over and over again and making a circle.

Do Not Be Like That Hamster Grinding On His Wheel

Just put a picture of a hamster on a hamster wheel in your mind. 

That’s us. That dang hamster going over and over again is like millions of people on Planet Earth.

How ridiculous it looks as we observe Sir Hamster. 

We look ridiculous. But you and I keep doing it. Get on the wheel, go, go, go until we collapse and grab something to help ease our pain.

Those things that hurt us have no place in our lives. Sure, we all need to learn from mistakes and errors in judgment. We also need to learn that maybe, just maybe, those things that hurt us are seeds of learning. 

We get a chance to take events and turn them into educational moments. Life moments.

Great men and women who have changed the course of societies and communities are not remembered for their timidness. They are in history or philosophy books because of their bravery and willingness to not disconnect. 

Those people did know what hurt them. Also, they didn’t want others to keep hurting. That might have been one reason they chose the “road less traveled” and stood up. 

We also can stand up and reclaim our lives. 

You do not have to hurt yourself anymore. Stop the cutting, the self-blame, the inner dialogue that leads people to dark places.

You are worthy of love, compassion, and empathy. Never disconnect from those three parts of a human landscape.

Most of all, discern what does and does not hurt you. When this is done, then the repair can begin. It can start with obtaining a healthy mind. 

Let us start today.