Nerves Of Steel? Not Me Because I'm No Superman

Day 2

Would you be shocked to know that I am not Superman? Thought so. Too many times, I’ve had to wear the hat of shrink and counselor to family members. That type of stuff can give you nerves...and not nerves of steel.

This type of an overdeveloped sense of responsibility should not happen to a kid. It did to me. And I’ve been left to wonder if that played some type of role in how I approach life.

You see, Superman was powerful and brave. Being honest with you, I don’t really feel that I am powerful and brave all the time. With mental health, taking on the task of “handling” my emotional state leaves too many holes for me to repair.

It becomes like I am walking through a road filled with potholes. All they are waiting for me to do is walk over one and fall into the murky bottom.

Mental health is important because when we have it in a good place, then we all can approach everyday life in a respectable way.

It Would Be Nice To Tell You I’ve Always Had My ‘Wits’

God knows I would really like to tell you that I have had my “wits” about me every single day of my adult life. No, check that. Make it life, period.

The constant nag of “help me” declarations, the need to take family members to a hospital or treatment center, go to doctor’s appointments, etc. It’s too much for a person to handle on their own. A lot of times, I did feel like I was on my own with that shit. The truth is I wasn’t....but I was. 

People see someone filled with nerves and not doing a good job of holding it together. They look out car windows and see the homeless. They look at TV news programs belittling people who aren’t all clear in the head. Then, worst of all, they might say, “Too bad, old chap. You might need to see a shrink.”

Real compassion and empathy from these types of assholes. (Oh, I cuss. If that bothers you, then either deal with it or leave.) 

Compassion and Empathy Are Important For Your Mind

This is what I truly believe people with identified or unidentified mental health problems need to be shown over and over again. Imagine walking around with years of insanity and a lack of feeling comfortable in your own skin.

It’s happened a lot in my life. I do my best to hide it and put my best face forward. But I have fallen on my face and butt many times. Methinks my “diving” action should earn me a place on the Olympics swimming and diving teams.

Seriously, though, nervousness and anxiety do a good job of keeping me on edge a lot. What has helped me? Only speaking for my experience, two things have helped: professional help and medication. I know the medication part will be controversial, so I’ll save that for a few paragraphs down.

Professional help has guided me through many bumps. A therapist played a significant role in leading me back to a healthy relationship with my father late in his life. Another one guided me to take a week and go to inpatient treatment for family-of-origin issues. Yet another introduced me to medication that has helped me stay pretty stable.

Not Every Therapist Fits A One-Size-Fits-All Model

See, not every therapist out there is a one-size-fits-all model. There will be people who think going and getting professional help is a sign of weakness. Bullshit. Get help if you need it. Don’t let other people’s opinions keep you from taking care of your mind.

Your mind is one part of the equation. There is a mind-body connection involved, too. That means you also have to get your physical body in tune, too. It might be through meditation. It might be through reading. It might be through journaling while going to the gym or on a long run.

What works for one might not work for another. Makes no difference, though. How far would you go to take care of your mind? A long way. 

Then we have medication. Oh boy, the sore spot. I readily admit that I have tried numerous medications over the years. Different ones to help with panic attacks, anxiety, sleep, restlessness, and focusing. Could I have lived this far without medical help? No. I’d probably have checked out. We are going to cover suicide in one day’s post, so I will save my own experience until that one.

If You Need Medication, Then Don’t Shy Away And Ignore The Possibility

It’s a difficult transition for some people to make around their mental health. The stigma around taking meds for one’s mental peace of mind remains in some people’s eyes. I’d suggest that they walk a mile in my shoes or other people's shoes. See what we have to deal with on a regular basis.

Times have come and gone when my nervous system needed a boost. It actually needed some type of mechanism to shut off at times. Simply going to sleep can be a travesty. We’ll also touch on sleep in another post (see, I’m giving you some highlights down the journey).

Yet I do want to emphasize the point that having nerves of steel isn’t required to live a joyful life. Sure, there are many who walk the road of mental health and do their best to be Superman or Superwoman all the time. Doesn’t that get tiring? You bet your sweet ass it does.

Then what is the answer? It is what you feel like is possible for you. My situation doesn’t totally mirror where you might be right now. Peace of mind comes with peace of soul. Truly, when you feel peaceful inside that big, tender soul of yours, then the mind will follow.

Different approaches work for different people. I’m quite grateful that I have had the help and support in my life from these professionals. Sometimes, just a simple, long conversation with a friend or healthy family member can do wonders.

I really want to emphasize this point. You are not alone.

Let me write that one more time. You are not alone.

Don’t try to silence those inner voices or mind maps that send you reeling. Reach out for help and support. People are there to help you. To listen to you. To love you all the way back into a healing state of being.

Get your nerves in alignment. You do not have to be Superman. You are a human being, deserving of love, acceptance, compassion, and grace. You deserve to take a damn breath in and out. If you are always exhaling from situations and people, then you don’t have any room to inhale. See, the breath of life needs both ends of the stick to work.

Be human. Be kind and loving to the person who needs it the most.

Y-O-U.