The Terrible Triggers of a Troubled Man

Day 5

A man walks up to a friend of his, sees him twitching and twirling, and just wonders what’s going on with him.

“What’s eating at ya, bro?” he asks. His friend stands still, looks at him in the face, and says, “These triggers are killing me.”

“Whaddya mean, triggers?” “I’m telling you about those things that get to me and bother me. They sent me into troubled land, man. I cannot even get to sleep some nights. Don’t look at me like I’m crazy. These triggers trouble me.”

And so, I will leave those two friends alone and come to center stage. It’s just you and me now. No one else is around. Yeah, triggers get me down. Not like rainy days and Mondays, but still, they are triggers.

A trigger, when it comes to mental health, is an activity, memory, thought, or object that stirs up shit inside. Triggers are different things for different people. But let me share with you one type of trigger for me.

When I hear an ambulance roaring by with its sirens, many times I’ll feel like my body is living 25 or 26 years ago. Family members would have to make trips to the emergency rooms at 1 a.m. or 2 a.m. in the mornings. That would happen after I’d worked an eight-hour shift in a night job. Then I would have to go and spend 2-3 hours with the family at the ER. Then make sure they all got back to their home OK. I could then go home and get there around 4 a.m. or 5 a.m.

It just triggers me. That’s a real-life example, too. No make-believe stuff there. Now let me also say that if I am in a serene spot, then if I hear one I’m OK. The trigger energy inside my physical body is much, much less. Most times, though, I’m not carrying over the serenity.

Don’t Think Triggers Are Like A One-Size-Fits-All Idea

Anyway, this is about triggers. Addicts and alcoholics have them. Boy, do we have them. 

People who aren’t addicted to substances also can have triggers.

Our minds connect with sights, sounds, and experiences. They are mapped out in different sectors, tied to areas in our bodies. 

Reflexology, for centuries, has tied a pressure point in the feet or other areas of the body with core areas. A place on my feet connects to my lungs. Other pressure points hit other areas. This idea of triggers and no connection between mind and body doesn’t exist.

Even good memories or thoughts can be triggers, too. That sounds nuts, right? But some people cannot stand things being good. It just feels better to have Captain Chaos (meaning the triggering aspects) running the psychological show. But that sucks and gets tiring after months and years.

Getting a handle on triggers takes time. Sure, I will admit that I have made progress. But get me in a situation that doesn’t feel comfortable and I am running for the hills. Running. That’s me. I’m like the actor David Janssen, who played Richard Kimble in the classic TV show “The Fugitive.” Kimble always fled a city while the “One-Armed Man” looked to get him.

Running. Gah! Triggers can send me running, though, and God a-mighty does it suck. 

“Stand still. Take it like a man. What are you, a coward?” Those inner phrases and shitty self-talk can drive me nuts. Even those types of statements can produce triggers.

Now that I’ve talked about them, what is the solution to the problem?

I believe triggers can take people to the edge and beyond. It’s hard to believe someone who commits suicide isn’t triggered to take that action. We are all triggered by situations and circumstances. The difference between you, Mr. or Mrs. Calm, and me, a little lunatic from Texas, is rather slim.

Find A Solution That Works For You And Follow That Path

Some of you know that triggers are simply an annoyance and you don’t need to give your entire attention to them. Healthy people understand that triggers are simply a normal process of life. 

Sure. Tell me again that triggers are normal.

Blech. I don’t believe it because there have been some sane people that have helped me navigate life’s choppy waters. 

OK, back to the solution. Going to live alone on a deserted island ain’t the answer, either. You can be triggered simply by living alone. 

Maybe the solution is a three-pronged one. Let’s look at what I’ll call the CAN formula. We’re going to look at three words separately that make up this formula.

Comfort - When a person feels comfortable in their own skin, then they have a lot more of their minds and bodies to stay in the present. Comfort’s message is “I am here to protect you, so you can feel protected.” Find comfort in your life right now.

Awareness - Being aware of what things you can do to slow down triggers is important. We all have different coping skills, too. Get aware of those situations that send you crawling in your skin. Learn. Be aware.

Nurture - Really, people, we all need to do a better job with nurture. It can be as easy as picking up a phone and calling a friend. It can be as hard as simply not telling anyone what’s happening between the ears or inside your soul. Get busy living in the nurture zone.

The CAN formula is one you can use in life. I have a deep awareness of how each one of these things appears. When all three are activated and part of your life and mine, then we receive great benefits. So do our families, friends, and loved ones.

But doing this “inner work” around triggers should not be dismissed. You and I have reached this point in our lives thanks, in some measure, to those dang triggers. We navigate choppy waters by tap dancing in and around them. 

Can you dance with triggers and learn to simply live in the awe of the dance? If you can do that with your triggers, then you are one-up on the rest of humanity. Learn to live, quell, and make peace with triggers. Now...start living.